The outside of the house was fully decorated with various pink and pastel colored lawn ornaments and balloons indicating a birthday party. It was a beautiful February day. It wasn't too cold at all outside. This winter has been quite mild this year and I wasn't complaining. I was just acknowledging the fact.
It had been a busy morning for me. For not knowing what to put on as far as clothes, doing my make up and hair, packing the cakes to bring, and stopping by Oak Brook mall to get a nice gift for little Laurel. I have never understood the idea of having an outdoor mall in an area with sub zero weather like Chicago; however, this mall was still packed with shoppers. I have passed this mall when the temperature was literally freezing, but this mall never knew what economy crisis means.
I settled for a cute pink dress I snagged from Nordstrom, a set of gardening toys and a petal tulle tutu from The Land of Nod. I think those should be enough for little Laurel. God knows she already has everything plus the kitchen sink and she's only four years old.
Normally, I would be super ecstatic with the anticipation of having Nigel in the same vicinity as me. Just the thought of seeing his face would give me such an immense joy that I couldn't explain. Today was a different story. I was expecting those rumbles in my stomach as I was driving to Emma's house. Yet, the rumbles never came. Instead, I felt sadness. Instead, I felt an intense amount of grief each time Nigel passed through my mind. I didn't know really what to expect today. I just really didn't know.
Emma put me to work almost immediately. I thought the crazy control freak Emma Brent would have had everything under control. Turned out, it wasn't the case at all. She was busy running around trying to get Laurel ready. I obliged and took over the food presentation and ran with it. Emma trusts me with everything she's got when it comes to the kitchen. She left me with her notes and schematic and she didn't come back to the kitchen for almost 45 minutes. Schematic you say? Yes, schematic. She drew exactly how the food should be displayed. I worked with her catering people and the bakery finally delivered the cake. I did my best to give Emma's schematic justice. I also added the lollipop cakes I made last night to her food spread. Hope she wouldn't mind.
Laurel's fairy cake was quite beautiful and pink. It was three tiers of pinky sugary goodness. Good thing Emma ordered the cake from someone else. I didn't think I could make such a pink cake. I probably would try my damnest for Laurel; however, the cake was quite pink. Did I say it was pink?
It was pink. However, it made me smile thinking how lucky that little birthday girl to have such a pink cake for her birthday. That had to be a dream of every little girl!
Emma ran in to the dining room where I was standing trying to put finishing touches to the table. Emma gasped looking at the beautiful arrangement of the sweet table that was filled with various pastel colors offerings. We got multi-colored macaroons, tiny brownie sprites with several different flavors, my lollipop cakes and rice krispie treats, and some petit-fours Emma had purchased from Pierrot Gourmet at The Peninsula Hotel.
"Oh my God, Sabrina..." Emma said as she covered her mouth.
"Looks okay to you?"
"Looks fantastic." She said and smiled. "Oh, what would I've done without you?" She said as she circled the table.
"Not sure." I said.
"You're really good at this." Emma said. I gave her a look as I was in disbelief of what I just heard.
"You sounded surprised." I said. "It's just what I do for work professionally, that's all."
"Hahaha..." Emma laughed paying me no heed. "Oh, I love it!" She said. "See, Sabby...I think I did great in drawing the diagram of how everything should be placed. You didn't have to guess at all!"
"Yes, you did good." I said thinking it was just easier to let Emma gloat.
"I learned that from you, do you know?" She said. I just laughed listening to her ridiculous chatter. She then continued.."Oh...this rice krispies treats are the cutest. Sabby - you're a genius." She said. She came to me and kissed my cheek. I just smiled. Then off she went running around trying to get everything else in placed. I can't imagine when the girl is getting married. I think Emma would be the biggest bridezilla than the bride herself.
The inside of the house was filled with beautiful party decorations - balloons, ribbons, and frills. It was a sight to be seen. I took a walk around the house with my mouth gaping open. Emma put a lot of time and efforts into this birthday party.
I felt someone was tugging on my hair behind me. I turned around and it was Laurel pulling on my hair. Her dad, John, was carrying her. She looked like a real princess from land far far away.
"Hey...princess?!" I said and cracked a big smile. She smiled too and went for a hug.
"Hi Aunty Sabby." She said cutely.
"Happy Birthday.." I said.."You look so pretty..." I said.
She just smiled.
"What do you say, Laurel?" John said to her as he smiled..
"Thank you.."
"Atta girl." Her dad said... "Hi Sabby." John said as he kissed my cheek.
"Hey doc." I said.. "Quite a party you have here." I said. "It's all for you, princess!" I said.
"Umpf..." he laughed. "You know, Emma." He said. "She gets carried away."
"Aunty Sabby..come here.." Laurel said as she asked to be put down and Laurel dragged me to her room. She had a big princess castle and she wanted me to play with her.
"Wow...Laurel... " I said... we sat on the floor. She grabbed a pretty pink princess, and then she handed me the queen
"I'm princess." She said.
"Who is this?" I asked? "Is this the queen?"
She nodded and said.."Yeah.....she's evil!"
"ohh.." I laughed.
John laughed. "You'll be here awhile, Sabby." John said. "You shouldn't let a four year old dragged you places."
"It's all right. It's her special day." I said. "Besides, I never had a castle when I was a little girl." I said.
"Can't believe what I was missing." I said.
"You didn't have a castle?" Laurel said with one hand over her mouth.
"Nooo." I said. "I didn't." I said. "I played with plastic food, and easy bake oven. Those are my favorites." I said.
"That's why she's a chef now, Laurel." John said.
"So, you'll grow up to be a princess, Laurel. Princess Laurel!" I said. She started giggling. It was the cutest thing. I looked at her and I realized how lucky Emma and John are. It's a blessing to have a family and that you don't have to spend day by day only on your own.
I always had a hard time being in this environment involving kids, family, and a happy house. Envious? You bet. In a way I could say I am envious of what life could have been with Peter. I could have had all this and some. Yet, life turned south. Emma always gave me encouragement that it's just a matter of time. She always tries to convince me that my time will come someday. However, I can't see me being pregnant and having kids in my horizon. It just sounds so far fetch from my reality, not especially when the guy I am in love with happened to be married to someone else. I could go on and on wondering about how did I get to this path of life; yet, it never really figured itself out. So I told myself to snap out of it as it's just a waste of time. It's just waste of time.
As soon as the guests started to arrive, I lost my playmate. Laurel split so quickly hearing commotion from the outside. It made me laugh as she was so excited. I wish I could be four years old again. It would be just fantastic to only worry about gifts and friends coming over for a birthday party. I stayed in Laurel's room for awhile longer and kept on playing princess and castle. It was a short moment when I could be a little girl again and forget about my sorrow.
I heard the door creaked all of a sudden.... I turned around, and I found Nigel standing by the door.
I sighed for a split second savoring the sight of him. What a handsome man I thought to myself. He looked more relax than usual. He had a checkered blue collared shirt covered with a navy zip top sweater. He looked dapper as usual, and how I adored him. He cracked a smile looking at me sitting on the floor with a princess doll on my hand. His eyes shined and smiled at the same time. I couldn't help not to crack a smile at him.
"Is that you, prince charming?" I said to him as I put the princess in front of my face insinuating that it was her who did the asking. Nigel laughed and came closer to me. He knelt down next to me and said..
"It is I, princess." He said. "I come to rescue you."
"Rescue me from my evil step mother, the queen?" I asked as I flailing the queen now.
"I'll rescue you from anything and anyone who wants to harm you, my dear princess." He said as he looked straight into my eyes.
"Oh..prince..my prince.." I said... Oups, I mean..the princess said so. "Save me from that evil troll Eric Phillips."
Nigel laughed out loud and he sat on the floor now. I laughed too. He touched my nose softly like I was a little girl.
"You are too cute, Sabrina." He said.
"I hope you meant what you said, prince. Save me." I said, still flailing the doll in front of him.
"Only if you need saving." He said as he smiled. "How come every time I see you, we always sit on the floor?"
It was my turn to laugh out loud. "I don't know.."I said. "I guess in our own little world, chairs do not exist."
"I'm too old to be sitting on the floor like this." He said.
I shook my head. "You're not old, Nigel." I said. "Not yet."
"Tell that to my knees." He said.
"I feel like I'm four years old again." I said as I took a look around. "How great would that be if it's true."
"Oh... Sabby." Nigel said. "I can only say I'm glad you're not four years old. Then really, you could be my daughter."
"Yeah.." I grunted a little thinking about the absurdity. "I don't want to be your daughter." I said.
"Neither do I." He said. "I wish things are different but I take this over you being my four year old daughter."
"Well, we're still in the same conundrum today, Nigel. Nothing's changed." I said. "It's just a different day." I said. "I'm still me, and you're still married."
Nigel looked at me and he said.."One more thing that hasn't changed is how I feel about you."
I looked up to him and met his smiling eyes. Again, I felt a rush of ocean rip tide taking me for a ride. It felt exhilarating. It felt out of control. I reached for his hand, and he held mine.
"What are you two doing here?" we heard Emma yelling at us all of a sudden. We both took our hands apart so quickly before she could spot it. "Nigel, Sabrina...?" Emma said a little confused..."Come out, come on." she said. "I need your help, Sabby....I need a big fairy!"
Nigel smiled and gestured me to get up. I got up and I gave him my hand to help him stand up. He creaked and we both laughed.
"I told you I'm old." He said.
"You're still one hot bone-creaking old man." I said. He chuckled a little.
"Sounds like you're flirting with me, Ms. Gilmour."
"Nope." I said. "Just stating facts." I said and I blew him a kiss as I ran to catch up with Emma.
Emma fitted me with blue fairy wings. With my short hair, I do look like tinker bell. She gave me a big bottle of fairy dust and a wand. My job is to run around the party and sprinkling fairy dust on the little kids. She would have a hell of a time vacuuming later. Who was I kidding? Of course she would have help with that too.
Turned out, Victoria and Xandra were my two other fairy honchos. They had been running around sprinkling fairy dust. I couldn't believe Emma didn't have trapeze installed so that we could really act like we were flying. It was such a beautiful time watching these little girls running around like crazy.
They were so so cute. Finally, it was time for the girls and the mommies to have afternoon tea. It was a real tea party. We munched on tea sandwiches, scones and quick breads, and sweets. It was a real treat and Emma did great in arranging everything. The girls didn't stay sitting very long. Each girl brought their own doll. If they didn't have one, it wasn't a concern as Laurel owned just about all American Girl Place dolls in production. In the midst of tea, the girls started to get antsy and went for the dolls. Aunty Victoria and and Aunty Xandra played the stylist and the hair dresser for the dolls. Emma got every body assigned to a post. I started laughing watching Vic actually using a curling iron to curl the dolls' hair. It was another sight to be seen.
Meanwhile, the men were in the family room towards the back of the house. John had different idea about real food for the men. He didn't want to have anything to do with finger sandwiches. So they were grilling in the back porch. Their screened heated back porch was quite comfortable in February. His infra red grill worked perfectly even in winter. We could smell grilled meats all the way to the living room. The great smell of steaks and shrimps on the grill was quite intoxicating. I was close to saying screw the tea sandwiches.
I actually sneaked to the porch for a little bit to see how the men were having fun. My boss, Jordan, saw me right away and he instantly scolding me.
"Women are not allowed in the men cave!" He said as he laughed at me.
"I'm not a woman. I'm a fairy." I said as I tried to flap my wings.
"What makes you think a fairy is not a woman?" John asked.
"Well, can you prove it that it's a woman?" I said and smiled. Nigel laughed watching me. He stood next to me.
"Ohhh... that looks good." I said looking at Nigel's shrimp skewer.
"Want a bite?" he asked as he put the skewer to my mouth.
"Oh yeah." I said as I took one shrimp off with my teeth. Jordan was looking at us a little strange.
Then I realized what I've done. Nigel and I have become totally more comfortable with each other more so than before. Instantly, I adjusted my attitude. However, Nigel didn't even seem to care.
"Nicely done, doc!" I said and smiled.
"Not overcooked?"
"Not at all." I said. "Plump too."
"Well, if the chef says so.." John said.
There were several other men there whom I didn't know. They're fathers of some of Laurel's friends and John's colleagues from the hospital. Usually, I would be up to flirt with some of John's doctor buddies. There would be no harm in getting to know some hot shot doctors. Yet, my heart was already set on one guy in particular. Though I knew I wouldn't be able to have him, my heart still wouldn't pay no heed to anyone else. I looked at Nigel who was talking to John and two other guys, and I knew my heart skipped a beat every time I caught him taking a glimpse at me.
"Seems like you and Nigel bonded over lunch." Jordan said. I acted like I wasn't surprised that he said that. "Yeah, we sure did." I said. "He's a real easy going guy." I said.
"Yeah, if I didn't have Nigel around, I quit Joie a long time ago." Jordan said. "I can't deal with Derek Stearns and Derek Stearns alone."
"Mh.." I laughed a little thinking of our other managing partner. Derek is definitely more vicious, and more stern compared to Nigel. The two of them are really like the good cop bad cop duo of SGE. At times, we even misspell his last name to "Stern." instead of "Stearns." He sure lives it up to his name.
"We sure are lucky to have Nigel." I said.
"Speaking of Nigel, he told me you were upset yesterday."
I glared at Jordan.."Wouldn't you?" I asked. "I thought you would tell me. Not Eric Phillips."
"Believe it or not, I found out from Nigel just now."
"Bullshit."
"I swear Sab." Jordan said. "I was pretty upset myself."
"What are they doing, Jordan? I mean seriously?"
"It's Eric and Derek. What do you want me to say?" Jordan said as he shrugged his shoulder. "I'm the Editor in Chief. I'm not in charge of Finance."
"I lost sleep over it last night." I said.
"Don't let it get to you." Jordan said. "You have nothing to worry about. Besides, I think Nigel thinks highly of you. He'll go out to bat for you. Though, I am not saying he even needs to do anything."
"I can't help it." I said. "I am worried. I can't depend on Nigel. He'll do what's needed for his company." I said.
"Perhaps, but we both have the utmost confidence in you." Jordan said.
"Thanks, boss." I said. "That made me a little warm and fuzzy inside." I said. "I need that." I said. "Wish I could sprinkle the fairy dust and flap my wings and all of these audit bullshits will disappear."
"It will soon enough. It'll pass before you know it."
That's how life has been lately. Up and down. High and low. After having a great picnic with Nigel, I got the news about the audit. Then, we were able to voice our feelings for each other but just to forget about all of it. Next, he tried to kiss me just for me to put my hand on his chest to stop his lips to touch mine. Even today as we're having a great party, all I could do was staring at the man of my dream from afar and talking about work with my boss. Up and down. High and low. North and South.
Gravity.
