There was still no response from Nigel. How hard would that be for him to just write a quick reply to a text? I could be acting all needy and text him again and again. But, please... would I do such thing? I wouldn't, of course. I was too proud and had too much control to give Nigel the satisfaction. I would just keep quiet and let myself go psychotic on my own without him ever knowing how he made me feel. We'll see how long I could last.
Things could never be simple. Things could never be as easy as it sounded. This tug of war in my heart would age me by ten years I had a feeling. On a rather positive note, Xandra called me at around 4:30 in the afternoon with a news...
"I got us two tickets for Next" Next is a restaurant in Chicago with a very unique concept. The creators, Grant Achatz and Nick Kokonas wanted to explore world cuisine and they do a themed menu for a period amount of time, then it would change to a different cuisine the next time. You have to buy tickets to dine and they're not cheap. Thus why, I was so surprised with what Xandra just told me.
"What?" I asked. "For when?"
"For tonight."
"Seriously???" I asked surprised. "If I'm not mistaken, they're doing El Bulli menu..." El Bulli was the number one restaurant in the world at one time by the great Ferran Adria. They were the pioneer of what's known now as molecular gastronomy.
"Yep." Xandra said. "Are you stoked or what??"
"Oh My God!" I said.. "I just couldn't believe it. How did you get the tickets on such short notice?"
"I got it last week, and I used your name." Xandra said and laughed.
"It worked?"
"Like a charm."
"On Valentine's Day? Really?"
"I got it! They were sold out but I talked to the restaurant. Then, so and so knew so and so who knew so and so that had tickets."
"Sweeet, Xandra!" I shrieked. "That would make my day." I said. "I would owe you so much money..." I said and laughed.
"My treat." She said. "You took me to enough restaurants for free."
"It could be at least $500 per person!"
"Yeah, you're worth it."
"Hahaha... wow, Xandra.. You amazed me. How about if I said I had a plan tonight?"
"Ah, I knew you didn't" Xandra said. "You're my date tonight, Sabby."
"Just the two of us?"
"Uh..yeah.... Bobbie has a show to do. Emma and John sure have their own thing going on. Vic...uh...I don't know, but she has a date."
"She does? She was just telling me she wants to go after Eric Phillips."
"Eric? Oh! the CFO who's auditing you?"
"Yeah! She was appalled that he didn't seem to be interested in her."
"When did she say this? She couldn't score the date already...though who am I kidding. This is Victoria we're talking about."
"She just said it earlier today. She didn't say who her date was for tonight?"
"Nope. I was going to ask but for what I thought. It's not like we would get to know the flavor of the day anyway. Waste of my time to be asking her about it."
"Though I thought she has been a little secretive lately about who she's seeing." I said. "She's always texting someone, and then she had this smile on her face. When I asked, she would pretend that she didn't understand what I was asking about and there was nothing."
"I know." Xandra said. "I thought it was just me who noticed. Knowing her, sure it was just something pure dirty. Sexting like a sixteen year old kid in high school. Sure it was just a guy sending her picture of his penis."
"Gross." I said. "Men do that?"
"You never got a penis text before?"
"I haven't exactly dated for awhile, Xandra." I said. "But actually I have gotten a penis text . Jax did that once." I started to smile thinking about Jax's crooked penis on my phone. I erased that thought quickly from my mind. Last thing I needed to do was thinking about an ex boyfriend's penis.
"Well, you're not missing much." Xandra said. "I think the penis texts I saw were not mine either. They're all Vic's."
"Thank goodness she didn't share with me." I started laughing hysterically.
I was super stoked about dinner. It actually helped easing the anxiety I have been feeling all day about hearing from Nigel. And yes, he still hasn't responded. He must have thought sending me flowers should be enough to appease me. Why bother to send me flowers at all. Grr...
Vic and I walked out together leaving the office. She looked exceptionally beautiful with her skin tight lavender colored dress and a pair of darker purple colored Manolo Blahnik shoes. She actually looked a little demure and regal compared to her usual look. She usually is always so bold about her choice in colors. However, she kept it feminine tonight although she wouldn't go with pink.
"Looking lovely, Vic.." I said and smiled. "Don't tell me you scored a date with Eric already."
"Not yet." Vic said and smiled. "I asked him to see what he was up to however. I was wondering if he is seeing someone. He told me it would be a really late night at the office."Vic said as she put on a nicely tailored wool coat on.
"Oh... there you go. Then you will have an easier challenge." I said and laughed.
Vic just smirked. "I don't care if he has someone. As long as he's not married. That's when I draw the line."
"Is that a jab at me?" I asked. "Thanks a lot!" I said.
"You didn't fuck him, right?" Vic said and smiled. "So then, no...it wasn't a jab directed at you."
"Victoria!" I said and shook my head back and forth.
"Just asking." She said. "But Eric said he's not much into Valentine's Day. He said he didn't have an affinity for it." I frowned when I heard that. Those were my words.
"Interesting." I said. "So where are you going tonight?"
"Oh... just to Morton's." She said a little sheepishly.
"Oh... wow.." I said. "Keeping it mainstream...I like that." I said. Victoria, even though she's not a food snob, she would snub the notion that someone would take her to a chain restaurant. I personally like Morton's despite the chain status and that they were popping up everywhere. Victoria, surprisingly complied to go there. I could assure you it would have never been her idea. She didn't like my comment however though she knew I was so right.
"You're such a food snob, Sab." She said. "It's just food. I could care less."
"I won't contradict you on that. I was born a food snob." I said and laughed. "Enjoy! Their Shrimp Alexanders are the bomb! Warm onion bread...? Mhmhmhm....carb!"
Vic was ready to kill me at that point. The chump of the day must have been a plain modest Joe. He wouldn't last too long. I used to go with guys whom I just had feelings for. I didn't care if they were rich, poor, college grad or not. I usually would just give people a chance. Victoria had several conditions however. The man has to be either really hot, really educated, really rich, or really powerful. Thank goodness the man doesn't have to possess all four qualities - one would do. My bet was the guy tonight would be really hot. Come to think of all those qualities, Eric Phillips definitely fits the bill for Victoria.
While Victoria gravitates towards guys in those categories - those people who live up there instead of down here with the rest of the population; I tend to stay away from those men. I may have not segregated myself from those people when I picked a mate in the past. Nigel for sure fits in that Brahman category too of the upper echelon of society. Yet, I usually get so intimidated with guys like that. Nigel was the first one that really didn't scare me a whole lot. However, I think it was because he wasn't really available. I think it was because I knew deep down he would never be mine.
I always believe guys with all those qualities are scary. My ex husband, Peter, wasn't that guy when I met him. He was just a post-graduate student trying to make ends meet. I do admit that he was smart, handsome, and had all kinds of potentials. After we were married, he mutated into the good looking educated successful and powerful guy that I never dreamed to be with. After all, I was just a cook at a restaurant at the time. I always came home smelling like food and sweat. I would get zit every other day from working in a hot greasy kitchen while he put on an expensive Italian suit to go to work. Then, my biggest fear happened. He didn't want me and found himself in the arm of another woman he thought more suitable for his super power stature. A mere cook just wouldn't cut it.
Since then, the thought of dating a man who thinks he has it all, scares me. It wasn't something I am striving for to find in a life partner. I am looking for a regular average guy that will love me and treat me right. That's all. What I have been experiencing; however, to find just one regular average guy to love has even proven tough. I'm not sure if it was just me - whether I sabotage myself from finding happiness. I always seem to give my heart to people who aren't available whether physically or emotionally. When I met Jax, he was fresh from a divorce. Even though he was available physically, he was so involved with a messy divorce with his ex wife that he was so consumed with it. He wasn't really available yet emotionally to be with me. I wanted a stable relationship while he was just wanting a rebound and experience life as a single guy for the first time in years. He broke up with me so he could feel free to explore what was out there. Not long after though, when I was still nursing my broken heart for losing him, I heard he got engaged. I couldn't believe it. How stupid could he be I thought to myself. However, it wasn't my life to worry about. I walked away from it knowing that I could thank God that I wasn't going to be the mistake he was about to make.
My mom and dad called me while I was on the way to the restaurant. It was fun to talk to them and they were telling me Marcus was taking them out to eat to meet his new girlfriend. I was shocked! Marcus, my crazy womanizer brother, was introducing his latest squeeze to the parents. Wow! Maybe he has changed and found "the woman." I never thought that day would ever happen.
Dinner with Xandra at Next was absolutely amazing. A lot of people probably thought we were a lesbian couple; yet, it was okay with me. Though I was still rather perturbed thinking about the fact Nigel hasn't yet replied throughout the whole meal, he couldn't ruin the delight I felt when I put the foie gras custard in my mouth. Oh joy! That was food in its finest! They also served a tortilla de patatas and it made the fritata I made for Nigel tasted like dog food. I exaggerated; but, I could only concede that the tortilla de patatas I had at Next was way superior compared to mine.
After twenty-nine courses and five hours later, we were ready to just go home and call it a night. I was so stuffed. Xandra felt fine as usual. I didn't know how she could put all those foods away in her tiny frame. She even did the wine pairing, which I politely declined. I couldn't be drunk on a Tuesday night.
In the taxi, I realized that I missed Nigel's call. He actually called me back and I didn't pick up. It was really late in New York City. He must have been asleep. I just wanted to hit myself for missing the call I had been waiting all day for.
When I stepped in to my apartment, my phone rang. I almost jumped for joy when I realized it was Nigel trying to face time me.
"Hi..." I said. I didn't want to be so excited but I couldn't get rid the smile from my face. Nigel cracked a huge smile when he saw my face.
"Hi darling.." He said.. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day, Nigel.." I said...
"Sorry to call so late..but I had two minutes before Valentine's Day is over to tell you I love you."
I smiled and I just nodded. "Thank you." I said.. "Really...for everything. The flowers...they're just beautiful." I said.
"Just like you. Look how pretty you are tonight...I finally got you your favorite flowers."
"You sure did." I said.
"I did try you earlier...but you didn't call me back. You must have gone out on a date, huh?"
I frowned my brow... "You knew better than to say that." I said.
"I wasn't going to bother you this late.." He said as he scratched his head a little and smiled. "But it drove me insane thinking about what you were doing not calling me back."
"I drove you insane? You didn't call me back all day!" I said. "I waited for your call or text... You haven't called me in over a week."
"Well...I didn't call you because I thought you didn't want me to. You were pretty clear about it."
I nodded with a sad expression. "I know." I said. "I know."
"I didn't call you soon enough today because I was in the hospital all day with Marcy."
"Oh! Is she okay?" I asked. I was genuinely concerned about her well being. Nigel shook his head.
"We're still here. The doctor wants to keep her overnight. She was screaming in pain this morning. I called 911, and rushed her to the hospital. Her blood pressure was through the roof and they thought she might have developed sacs in her colon." Nigel looked weary as he explained. "Long story, Sabby...but she's not well."
"Oh sweetie... I'm so sorry." I said. Nigel smiled to me with a sad tired face.
"Thanks, Sabrina." He said. "Don't worry. I'm used to this. This has been my life for I don't know how long."
"I'll say a prayer for her." I said. Nigel nodded.
"Thank you." Nigel smiled at me... "So you like your flowers?" I nodded and laughed.
"I loved it! They're gorgeous... that had to cost you so much money."
"You deserve only the best..." He said. "Can't even begin to give you any less."
"I felt really guilty that I thought you were ignoring me because you were spending your Valentine with Marcy." Nigel raised his eye brows.
"You're not wrong."
"I know... but it was so hard not to get jealous." I said. "Even though I knew that I have no right to be jealous."
"You need to have a little faith in me, Sabby." Nigel said. "You have nothing to be jealous about. While I, on the other hand....I'm still jealous. Who's the lucky person who got to spend the evening with you?"
"Xandra." I said and smiled. "She was my date. She took me to Next for dinner." I said.
"Next?"
"It's a spin off of Alinea." I said. "It's Grant Achatz's restaurant."
"How many courses were there?"
"Twenty nine." I said.
"Whooaa.."
"I know." I said and laughed... "What did you eat for dinner, Nigel?"
"Are you mocking me? I had a hospital cafeteria hamburger and fries."
"Ohhh...." I said and laughed. Nigel laughed out loud too.
"I wish I were there with you." Nigel said and smiled. I shook my head.
"No.... you were where you should be. Imagine if you were here, and Marcy had to go through what happened today all alone."
"Yeah, I know." He said. "I still can't change your mind, huh?"
"Change my mind on what?" I asked. "I love you. I just can't be with you." I said.
"Just promise me one thing..."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Tell me that you think of me when I'm not there."
"Every second of every hour, Nigel." I said.
"I love you, Sabrina... right or wrong." I cracked a little smile remembering those words that I uttered to Nigel that night we spent together. I wish he knew I feel the same way too. At times, you didn't choose love. Love chooses you.
We talked for hours even though I knew we shouldn't spend that much time together. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the will to end the conversation. When we finally called it a night, it was close to two in the morning and I was falling asleep. I knew I slept with a smile on face and my jaw got some rest tonight. Valentine's day ended up on a good note though my moral compass needed some calibration again - big time.
