I didn't know how many times I typed the text to send him and just ended up erasing the whole thing. I didn't know how many times I reached for the phone, ready to press the call button, and refrained. I didn't feel like it was my place to question whatever it is he's doing. After all, we are not together. After all, I told him he should seek someone who would want to be with him despite his marital status.
Still, my heart was breaking. It felt awful. All I wanted to do was to go home and let out a cry. Gosh, I have cried so much for this man for restraining the love I thought we shared. Turned out, I was just one of many. It must have been my life's destiny to be not so unique that every guy treats me like I'm a dime a dozen. The feeling was beyond terrible. Besides, what did she do to deserve the Tiffany's heart diamond necklace? Oh, she had to put out. Okay, I conceded.
Yet, the whole day afterward, all I heard was Victoria moaning and groaning about Eric Phillips.
"I think I am falling in love with him, Sab."
"What?!!" I said curtly. "You can't be falling in love with that jerk." I said. "No..no..no." I added.
"I think I am though." She said. "I can't stop thinking about him."
"How is it possible, you - falling in love? You don't fall in love." I said.
"I know!" She said and smiled. "Maybe, this is it.." She said. "Finally, I met someone worthy of my love."
"Puuhhhleaase." I said and rolled my eyes.
"Why did you hate him so much?"
"I don't hate him." I said. "I just dislike him, a lot." I said.
"That's synonymous with hate."
"Not necessarily."I said. "Enough of this bullshit, Vic. Go to work!" I said.
"I can't." Vic said daydreaming. "He's playing hard to get too... it drives me crazy." Vic said. "I thought he would be a challenge, but not like this."
"Why, cuz he has lunch meeting now he's a challenge?"
"Guys don't turn down lunch with me, let's put it that way." Vic said.
"Oh..pardon moi." I said sarcastically.
"He's really beautiful. I didn't know why I never realized it till now. I mean, I always know he's gorgeous, but I guess I'm a late comer."
"Apparently." I said. "Do you want to go to Singapore on my stead?" I asked.
"I wish I could!" She said.
"He won't let it happen." I said. "His sole reason to go to Singapore with me is to fry me."
"Oh..stop it." Vic said. "He's not mean like that."
"I'm serious. I think he has a plan to hang me."
"No..I don't think so." Vic said in a serious tone. "I didn't sense an animosity towards you from him. You seem to hate him more for whatever reason."
"I don't hate him."
"Yes, you do." Vic said. "Be supportive, please?? Could you try playing matchmaking when you're in Singapore? Sell me a bit?"
"Why, Vic... are you really asking for my help to nail a guy?" I asked with a big grin of disbelief.
She exhaled... "Uh...yes...Oh, I can't stop thinking about his smile. Now I know why you're all crazy about Nigel."
"Don't say his name." I said.
"How come?"
"I'm trying to forget and not nurturing any feelings for him. I'm listening to all y'all's advice."
"It's about time." Vic said. I gave her a fake smile.
"Yep. You are all correct. I was wrong." I said and nodded.
"I hope I can go out with Eric before he goes to Singapore with you." Vic said, totally changing the subject. "I can't ask again today. It has to wait till tomorrow."
"Well..probably. Give him a little space." I said.
"But time is running out. He has to be awesome in bed... I can just imagine." Vic said daydreaming. "His lips are so sensuous... I just.. it's been a long time since I'm lusting over a man like this!"
"And, it's Eric on top of everything else. Out of the blue. The guy has been working here for years and now you decided that you're in love with him?"
"Well, what about you and Nigel??"
"Ah... good point." I said as I shut myself up.
Vic's phone beeped. She got a text. She checked it and smiled and she looked up trying to continue her ranting about Eric.
"You've been doing that a lot." I said as I observed her every move closely.
"What?"
"Getting a text and then smiling conspicuously. You did that at Table Fifty-two and several other times." I said.
"Ah..just stupid guys." She said and laughed.
"Xandra said you got dirty pictures sent to you..thus why you were smiling."
"Sometimes." She said.
"Let me see." I said, as I tried to grab her phone. She actually defended my move really hard so that I couldn't grab her phone.
"No!" She said abruptly. I laughed and tried again.
"Come on... let me see.. I haven't seen a penis for a long time!" I kept on trying to grab it playing around with her.
"Noooo.... Sabrina..come on!" Vic snapped at me. It woke me up. It reminded me of Peter when he was cheating on me. All of a sudden, I got the flashback of when he fought me so hard not to look at his phone. I instinctively grabbed it from her. She looked like she panicked instead of getting mad.
I took two step behind and I saw the text she got from "HotPD" and I laughed when I saw the picture loading and it was the bottom half of a naked man's body.
"Sabrina..give it back." Vic said. "That's invasion of privacy." Vic said.
The picture loaded and I now could clearly see it. Boy, that crooked penis looked awfully familiar. I didn't know too many penises and I remember those I knew.
"Victoria?" I asked as I looked at her, confused and dumbfounded. Vic looked like she's just seen a ghost, pale white.
"Sabrina....I.."
"This is Jax's penis, isn't it?" I asked.
"Sab... "
"Is it??!!" I yelled.
"What do you want me to say??" Vic said as she realized she was totally caught.
"I can't believe you!" I said, still in disbelief. My world felt like it was going to collapse one more time. Out of any guys, Vic chose to have a romp in the sac with my ex boyfriend, who broke my heart royally? I felt so betrayed I couldn't believe it.
I just stood there like I lost my wits. I did. I lost it.
"Sabrina... hear me out... " Vic said. "It was just a fling. It meant nothing."
"That's supposed to make me feel better, Vic?" I asked. "You're my friend.... there's boundaries.." I said. "You know how he hurt me." I said.
"And that's why.." Vic said begging... She had tears rolling down her cheeks. My eyes were wet too. It was just too much to swallow today. It was definitely too much for one girl to swallow.
"Sabrina...Sabrina..please listen... I ran into him one night at Sushi Samba..and he said hi to me. I thought you said he was engaged and I just tried to flirt with him as a way to get back at him and his fiancee for you." Vic said.
"Uhh.." I grunted in disbelief. "What am I supposed to say? Thank you?"
"No..no... it was how it started." Vic said. "I just wanted to hurt them for you."
"I have never asked you to." I said.
"I know." Vic said. "It was just supposed to be an unplanned revenge...but I was drunk and he was drunk, one thing led to another and before we knew it.."
"Stop." I said my tears just kept on falling. "I don't wanna hear it."
"Please Sabrina..." Vic said. "I'm so sorry... I never meant it to happen."
"Was it just that one time?" I asked.
Vic shook her head. "He became a little obsessed with the sex with me." I looked the other way holding back tears. "How could you say that you never meant it to happen if it happened again, and perhaps again?? You are supposed to be my friend."
"I am.."
"When did you plan to tell me?" I asked.
She didn't say a word. She just kept on sobbing.
"Now, you're even talking about nailing Eric? I don't like Eric, but I wouldn't let him be just another of your victims, Victoria." I said. "You're awful." I said.
"Sabrina... I'm sorry." She said loud as I was walking away.
I went to my office to grab my stuff and I left the office. I didn't care that it was only 3:30 in the afternoon. I tried to clean up my tears as much as possible, but Eric saw me walking out. He came to me..
"Where are you going, Sabrina?" He stopped me. He saw my face and his expression changed. "Are you okay?" He actually asked like he was concerned about me.
"No, I am not." I said. "I'm going home." I said.
"Are you okay to drive?"
"I'll take a cab." I said. "I don't drive today." I said.
"Let me take you home." Eric said.
"No." I said. "Thank you, but no."
I thought I would cry the whole ride home. However, my tears did not fall anymore. Instead, what I felt what just the stinging pain in my chest. When I got home, I packed my bag and I drove to Emma's. I knew Victoria would try to find me at home later. I didn't want to deal with her and her bullshit lies. I was still in awe of what she actually could do. She was supposed to be my best friend and she slept with the last man I thought I was going to marry. Going to Emma's house and getting a Xanax from Dr. John Brent would be the ideal scenario right now.
I told Emma everything. She hugged me and she started crying for me. I started crying too and I just felt so much hatred towards Victoria. I know she could get any guy she wants and she had to go for the guy that dumped me. That had to make her feel great. Then, she said it she did it for me.
"She said she did it for me, Em." I said as I wiped my tears. "She slept with Jax for me."
"Oh honey.." Emma said. She was in shock herself. Emma looked weary and she actually felt my pain. You know at times even when you talked to a friend, when it didn't really happen to them, no matter how much they tried to empathize, you could tell that it didn't affect them like it affected you. I couldn't say the same thing about Emma. Emma looked hurt. Emma hugged me and we cried together.
"How could I trust her with my husband?" Emma said.
"She doesn't do married man she said." I said.
"Well, fucking your best friend's ex is also a no no, and she crossed that line."
"Emma..." I said "Your kids may hear you." I said.
"Well, what other words can I use?" Emma asked.
"I'm just glad you didn't know." I said. "If all of you knew about her and Jax but me. I'd hate all of you." I said.
"Now you know how I felt when I was the only one who didn't know about Nigel."
"Earlier in the day I heard he was seeing someone else in New York and buying her a Tiffany diamond necklace."
"What???"
"It's been a hell of a day." I said. "That became so tiny now after what Victoria pulled." I said.
"Were you really seeing him?"
"No.." I said. "We had encounters...not sexual. We kissed but we never had anything between us."
"You kissed??"
"Yes... " I said. "That's why I felt awful already when I heard he actually has someone else. He told me he loved me. I told him I couldn't be with him when he's still married." my tears fell again.
She hugged me. "Oh Sabby, I pray and pray for you to be happy. You so deserve it. Out of anyone, you so deserve it."
I lost it. I just cried and cried until I was exhausted. Little Laurel came for her mommy and she got dismissed by her mommy so quickly and she started crying too. Everybody just cried, cried, cried.
When John got home around 7:30, he brought with him some good anxiety medicine and whatever it was he gave me, it knocked me out and I slept and forgot about all my sorrow. I didn't even know what direction I was. Everything just spun.
