When we were at Newark, I turned on my phone and I saw two missed calls from Nigel. He just didn't seem to get it that I didn't really care to talk anymore. I mean - my heart has been very torn. Some part of me really missed him. However, a big part of me felt duped. I just didn't know what to believe. His voice mail just said for me to call him immediately after hearing the message. Yeah, let me show you who's the boss.
I took a drowsy induced antihistamine, and I was gone in la la land. When I woke up, I smelled breakfast being served and Eric Phillips in my sight. I rubbed my eyes..
"Good morning, sunshine."
"Morning." I said. "Why are you not in your seat?" I asked.
"Just walking around, stretching." He said.
"So, go walk around. Why are you watching me sleeping?" I asked.
"I wasn't." He said. "I didn't mean to." He said. "You just looked so peaceful."
"I needed a little peace." I said as I yawned."I usually hate airplanes."
"You have to travel quite a bit with this job. How could you hate flying?"
"I don't hate flying. I hate being in the airplane."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, it's not." I said. He laughed. "You just hate the environment inside and being cooped up for 15 hours.."
"...Yep, and the smell, and the food." I said as I adjusted my blanket.
Eric nodded.... "I get it. At least you can sleep."
"I took an antihistamine that knocks me out." I said. "You want some so you can sleep?"
"Maybe on the way back. We're almost there." He said. "Wow, Sabrina...for a second there, I felt like you actually care and don't hate me." I rolled my eyes.
"Don't go that far." I said. "I don't hate you. Why you said that? But I'm not heartless either."
"hahaa.." He laughed out loud. "That's one way to convince me that you didn't hate me."
"What?"
"...I don't hate you but I'm not heartless either.." He said mimicking and making fun of me.
"That's the truth." I said.
"So you like me?"
I stared at him cold and I couldn't answer. So, I said.."You know you need to go back to your seat...the cart needs to pass by here. She's coming... the pretty Singapore flight attendant needs to serve me my breakfast, and yours. Look, she's a cutie. Go harass her instead." Eric looked at me as he frowned.
"Mh.... maybe you are heartless after all." He turned around and left.
At that point, I didn't care anymore what Eric thought of me. I just woke up and groggy. If he wanted a better answer, he should have tried me later.
I jumped for joy inside when we finally landed. It was a long trip already. I started to think about Vic and Nigel again however. All of a sudden, that dead weight I have been feeling came back to my chest. I really wanted to forget and try forgive them in this trip. I really didn't know what I would do about Victoria. I knew eventually I would need to forgive her. Or do I?
Eric looked mesmerized looking at the skyline of Singapore in the cab. He was looking around with a smile on his face like a little boy.
"First time here?" I asked.
He nodded "Yep. I've never gone this far South before in Asia. Only to Hong Kong, Tokyo, and Shanghai."
"Well, congratulations and welcome to Singapore." I said.
He turned to see me, and said... "Thanks, Sabrina. It's going to be an exciting trip."
"Shouldn't be." I said. "This is all worthy of a boring audit."
Eric smiled... "You bet."
We checked in to The Marina Bay Sands Resort and the hotel was beautiful I must say. It was huge and it has so much amenities. Eric got excited immediately about the casino. I couldn't get excited about anything. My heart was racing as usual especially since I checked my phone and I found messages from Nigel. I contemplated for a second to listen to them or not. I knew he would just convince me that there was no one else. I decided to just delete them. There was really no reason for him to convince me otherwise since I couldn't be with him no matter what anyway. This way, it would make it so much easier to forget him.
Now that the trip is underway, I actually couldn't really breathe thinking about everything back home. I was so eager to get away but all I could think of was how shitty things have been and how I wish things were different. I tried to stay up as long as possible so I could get adjusted to the local time. I was getting so tired and I felt like crying thinking about Nigel. I couldn't deny that I love him so much and it hurt real bad to see him around the office. It was too hard to have him around and realizing that the man I actually love may not be the guy I thought I knew. For a split second, I decided to be Victoria. She seems to always have the fun, including with Jax. I put on a bikini and I looked at myself in the mirror. I actually looked quite nice. I decided to try the famous infinity pool that was located way up high on the Marina Bay Sands Building. It was on the fifty fifth floor, overlooking the city. I thought perhaps I might meet some interesting gentlemen by the pool to forget some of my sorrows. It would help wake me up too.
The view was breathtaking to say the least. Dipping my sore body in that pool felt so great as well. It immediately made me think how lucky I was to be able to experience such wonder. I didn't even care anymore about making new friends with some lonely guys here. I wasn't really ready and my heart still belongs to someone else whether I like it or not. I stopped and stared at the Singapore skyline and just really embraced the scenery. I soaked everything in and I thanked my maker.
"It's beyond my comprehension." I heard Eric talking from behind me. I turned around and sure enough it was him. He was also in the pool, and I could see his unclad upper body that was above the water and it made me take a big gulp of air. I quickly recovered.
"Why...are you following me?" I asked.
"Hey, I was here first." He said. "You just had the same idea as me." He said. "Great minds think alike." He added.
I just exhaled and turned around. He parked himself next to me as we both stared at the beautiful view in front of us.
"Made you feel tiny." I said and I smiled to myself.
Eric smiled as he turned to see me. "Yeah. Made me feel happy." He said. I nodded.
"In fact, that was the first smile I saw on your face for days." Eric said. "You actually know how to smile." I got rid of the smile so quick.
"Oh..come on." He said. "You look so beautiful when you smile."
"Don't hit on me." I said. "It won't work."
"I'm not hitting on you, Sabrina. I'm just making observation."
"Just observe the view, don't observe me please."
"Why do you hate me so much?" Eric said. "Because of the audit? Really?" He asked.
"Stop saying I hate you. I don't hate anyone." I said.
"If you don't hate me then you strongly dislike me."
"What makes you think I dislike you?" I asked him.
"Sabrina, I didn't graduate top of my class at Harvard because I'm stupid."
"Oh... that's probably why." I said. "You just can't help to love yourself."
"I love myself?" Eric asked. "You think I'm narcissistic?"
"I don't think. You are narcissistic. I may not graduate top of my class at Harvard, and I could easily tell." Eric laughed.
"I'm a good guy, Sabby." Eric said all of a sudden, real soft. "Give me a chance."
I turned around to see him. "It doesn't matter what I think." I said.
"I am sorry to mess with your trip." Eric said. "I never thought you'd be this put out. I really didn't think you'd be so pent up with disgust."
"Huh?"
"Sorry." He said again. "I didn't think you would."
"What?" I asked... "Me, feeling blue didn't have anything to do with you." I said. "It wasn't because of you joining me in this trip." I said. I felt a little bad when I heard he blamed himself.
"You don't have to be nice now. You showed it pretty clearly and it's fine. I'm used to it."
"See...and you think you're not a narcissist." I said. "This is not about you. I have problems of my own." I said. "I admit, I wasn't so crazy when I heard you were coming along. But I didn't fold my face in four because of you and I'm sorry if you think that."
"You're apologizing?" He asked surprised.
"Unlike men, I have no problem apologizing if I need to." I said.
"Mh...you're easier to crack than I thought." He said.
"What????" I asked.
He smiled... "You heard me."
"You know, Eric....It's been a long day. I don't have time for your game." I said, curt. He's one antagonizing man!
I swam away from him and left the pool. I wiped myself with towel, and I glared at him, but I saw him and he looked like he was actually captivated by me. I gave him a second glance, and he realized that I noticed, and he looked away. I didn't care so I just strutted and walked away acting all sexy.
I just couldn't understand Eric. I really didn't know why God complicated my day even further with putting him in the mix. I just simply couldn't stand him no matter how beautiful his form is. Maybe I would consider sleeping with Nigel if he promised to fire Eric Phillips. That would be worth me sacrificing my virtues and values.
I was in South East Asian time. Time moved slower it seemed, yet at the same time we were twelve hours ahead Chicago time. Usually I would just be getting up and getting ready to go to work. However, I closed my eyes on the cushy bed, and I said good bye to the cruel world for one night.
