I woke up Saturday morning quite late. I forgot I was staying over at Emma's and I got quite disoriented as when I opened my eyes, I saw Bobbie's face. Next, I heard Xandra. I guess Emma had told me and they were all here for me.
"Get up." Bobbie said. "It's almost 10." She said as she smiled to me.
"Emma is making breakfast." Xandra said. "We're going for a shoot."
"Ah...I'm not in the mood." I said. Going out taking pictures was the last thing on my mind, though I usually love doing it.
"We're going!" Xandra said. "We're taking a drive to Alpine Valley. We can ski a little and go shoot some pictures."
"No, thanks. I didn't even have my camera with me." I said.
"I picked it up from your house." Bobbie said. "I know where your spare key, remember?" I rolled my eyes annoyed that she misused her privilege.
"If you didn't realize it, I am not feeling so hot right now." I said.
"We know, Sab. Emma told us." Xandra said, concerned.
"Then, leave me alone. I came here to hide. Don't tell me Vic is out there too."
"She's not."
"Did you guys know about Vic and Jax?" Both of them looked me in the eyes and shook their heads.
"Big snow boulder just ran me over." Bobbie said.
"Me too." Xandra said. I started to tear up again. "I want to kill Jax." I said. "How could he... wasn't it enough what he's done already. He had to screw my best friend too. I want to kill both of them."
"I didn't see it coming." Bobbie said dazing. "I didn't feel good myself." She said and she started to tear up herself.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I had a fight with Sam." She said. "He said when I go back home tonight, he'll be gone for good and out the house."
"What?? You guys broke up?" I said.
She nodded. "I brought up babies and he went ballistic on me. He was kissing me at one point, the next thing he was checking if I was taking my pills. Like he suspected I was going to trap him by getting pregnant. So I went loca."
"Oh....shit." Xandra said. Xandra shook her head. "We're definitely going skiing. We all need to cool down."
I don't see Bobbie cry very often. Seeing her crying was a little bit much and it put me over the edge. So I started crying again.
"Tony is suing me for my website's revenue." Xandra said. Now, we all turned to see her. "He said he helped me built it and did many of the programming. He didn't do shit! It was all my idea and he helped because he was my boyfriend, not because he was a business partner."
"Oh my lord." I said.
"He sued me for 200 grand!" Xandra said and teared up too. "That jerk didn't even try to talk to me first about it. He just got me served."
"No..."
"Yeah! I got served the paper yesterday."
"I'll talk to Sean on Monday. He'll help you. You will need a good attorney." I said.
"Who's Sean?"
"Sean Talbott. He works in my office building for Mercer, Phelps, Talbott & Associates. He talks to me almost every morning in the elevator."
"I can't afford it." Xandra said. "He sounds expensive."
"I'm sure he'll help." I said and nodded. "Not to worry. We'll crush Tony's frivolous lawsuit." I said.
Emma walked in to the room and she said... "Breakfast ready.... " then she stopped when he saw all of us in the state of misery.
"Is this what they call misery loves company?" She said.
"Yes." Bobbie said.
"We can't take anymore bad news. Not from you too." Xandra said.
"I have a news...don't know if it's a good news or not.." Emma said. We frowned looking at her. Then with a big smile and excitement she said... "I'm with child!"
"What?!!"
So practically all of us have problems of our own, including Vic. Emma's however was more of a good news except I guess John didn't want another baby. It was an accident. However, Emma was ecstatic about it. She was just a little down that John didn't share her sentiment as much. Bobbie looked sad as well. I'm sure she tried to be happy for Emma but she got that envious empty womb look to her face. Bobbie really wanted a baby and she should have one if she wanted to. She didn't even care about her ballerina figure. I couldn't believe Sam broke up with her because of baby talk.
Men are stupid. Sam couldn't and wouldn't find another beautiful soul like Bobbie in his entire remaining meaningless life. Tony too... What a greedy asshole.
Emma drove us to Alpine Valley and we had fun actually doing a little skiing, sledding, and taking pictures. Emma sat it out for the most part as she was being careful. She was only 8 weeks into her pregnancy, so you couldn't tell that she's expecting. However, she went crazy with the picture taking. All of us love photography. Most of my friends are professional grade photographers and super talented. I'm not really good in taking pictures of landscape and scenery like Bobbie and Xandra. I'm more just into food photography.
Bobbie is a Canon girl and she carries around her big full frame 5D with pride. Xandra and Victoria both are Nikon enthusiasts. Victoria uses the D4 and Xandra uses D2x. Emma and I love Leica. I'm using my rangefinder wonder the Leica M9, and Emma's husband spoiled her with a Leica S2 DSLR. It's totally a waste for a stay at home mom having a twenty grand camera to use for a hobby. However, she took some really great shots of her kids. She's quite an accomplish photographer for sure; but, twenty grand camera?! It's an overkill for anyone not in the photography business! Good thing she lends that camera to Xandra a lot.
When we were lounging in the club house trying to get warm drinking hot chocolate and hot toddies, my ex best friend came walking in. It did feel weird having the four of us without Victoria. However, I wasn't ready to deal with her. Seeing her and talking to her were the last thing I wanted to do. She looked like hell though. For once, the great Victoria Perkins looked like crap.
She took off her big sunglasses, and you could see now that she had been crying, a lot. What? Was it supposed to make me feel sorry for her?
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Sabrina.."
"I asked her to come.." Emma said. "We need to resolve this."
"I have nothing to say to her." I said.
Both Bobbie and Xandra were looking at Vic like they didn't know who she was. That's right, at that moment, she felt like a stranger. She was an intruder that crashed our party.
"Sabrina.. just hear me out. I won't stay long." She said.
"I heard you already. There's nothing left to say."
"I screwed up, okay?" She said. "I am so sorry." She said. "I didn't use my better judgement. I swear in the beginning I thought I was just going to break them apart as a revenge for you like I said. I should have left it at that."
"Well you didn't." Bobbie said. Vic glared at Bobbie. Bobbie stared back.
"Am I supposed to take this up with you also, Ro?" Vic said, pissed off.
"You bet! You screw with one of us, you screw with all of us." Xandra said, curtly. I was even a little taken aback since Xandra and Vic are pretty tight, or should I say were?
"Let her speak." Emma said. Something dawned on me now about Vic..
"Mh...no wonder, you went to Morton's for Valentine's Day and you remember about Jax giving me cheap flowers he ordered online." I said musing. "You got Jax's $29.99 special, did you?"
Vic looked at me and she didn't deny it. "Yes."
"So, it wasn't just all fucking, was it?" I asked.
"For me, it was." She said. "That was it."
"Then, why would you go out with him on Valentine's Day?" Emma said, confused.
"I wanted to go out with Eric Phillips. He would rather stay in the office. I had nothing better to do." Vic said. "I didn't want to be alone."
I was crying at that point. "Sabrina, I'm really sorry." Victoria said. "Please tell me what I could do to make things right. I beg of you?"
"Leave?" I asked.
"Sabrina... I admit I'm a bad person. Really bad. I didn't meant to do it to hurt you. I just got sucked into it and before I knew it I am in too deep. I told Jax that you found out and I told him that I couldn't do it anymore. It's over. I really don't have any feelings for him, Sab. Believe me."
"You didn't have feelings for me, either...my friend." I said it to her face.
She broke down and started crying. "I love you, you're my best friend." She said. "I forever will hate myself for doing this to you. But you're not with him anymore either."
"He's still not a fair game." Emma said. "Sorry, and you didn't ask her permission if it was okay."
"I know.. I know.. I screwed up big time."
"What happened to the engagement?" Bobbie said. "Wasn't he engaged to some ugly fat puta?"
"He broke it off." Victoria said.
"Well... mission accomplished." Xandra said sarcastically.
"If you wanted to know, Sabrina... the whole time I was talking to Jax, he talked about you a lot. He regretted hurting you. He just thought you're too good for him and he couldn't live up to you."
"So, he went for you instead?" I asked and laughed. "Cuz you're not too good for him."
"I didn't want anything from him." Victoria said. "He knew I was not as pure as you and my heart wasn't made of gold like yours."
"It didn't stop him from falling in love with you." I said.
"I swear ...good girls always finish last. Girls like you, Vic...just made it so impossible. You treat them like dirt and they fall in love with you." Xandra said and shook her head.
"I was so good to Jax. I loved him with all my heart." I said.
"You were too good to him and for him, honey." Emma said. "He couldn't appreciate it because he didn't have the same to give."
"Don't worry...Sabby, it wasn't your fault." Bobbie said. "It wasn't your fault."
"I swear I will not see him anymore. He meant nothing to me to begin with. I swear I was about to change and turn my life around when you found out. I really am ready to be normal, to have someone to love me for who I am and not just for physical reason. I swear I was about to take lessons from all of you about love and learn to love again. I saw Julian several months ago in New York and it made me crazy. I just didn't want to be alone and Jax just happened to be there. But now, I realized that seeing Julian was supposed to be a sign that I have wasted my life away because of that monster for too many years. I want to be happy too. I want to be loved. I am hurting my friends and I am out of line. I swear Sabby...when I told you about Eric, I really didn't try to make him just one of my victims. I truly thought he's the one. I really want to be with him and be a good girl for once."
"Who's Eric again?" Bobbie asked. We ignored her.
"Good luck, Vic." I said. "Good bye."
"Sabby, please forgive me.." She said. "I can't lose you."
"You should have thought of that before you spread your legs." I said coldly. "Smiling, receiving dirty text of my ex boyfriend's penis in front of me!!" I said angrily. Vic sobbed.
"I know you're angry. I hope in time you forgive me." Vic said. "I'll show you. I'll change. I'm not going to be a man eater or whatever you call me. Those days are gone." She said. "I really am in love with Eric." She said. "I can't explain it but I'll show you that I'll be good to him and be the best woman I can be."
"It doesn't concern me what you do." I said.
"I'm so sorry again. I'm sorry girls." She said to the girls. She then turned around and left.
We all watched her walking away. I wiped my tears. I was huffing from anger. Then, Bobbie broke the ice and the first thing she said wasn't an encouragement for me, but...
"Who's Eric again?"
I checked my phone when I got home the next day. I left the phone at home because I thought Victoria would be calling me like crazy and I had no desire to answer it. I had many missed calls from her and from Frances, my assistant. I also got four missed calls from Jax. Wow, he never called me for the past two years and now four missed calls in two days? I also got a text from Nigel.
"I tried not to call or contact you. But I miss you so much. Have to see you soon."
I deleted his text. What a crock. I didn't even bother to answer. Maybe he had that text saved so he could just send it to the girls he's befriending. I never thought Nigel was the type. He seemed so genuine and respectable. I never ever suspected that he could talk lies and fed me a bunch of things he didn't mean. The worse part was I believed him. I bought his bullshit.
All of a sudden, I heard someone knocked on my door. However, it wasn't from the intercom outside. It must have been one of the neighbors. I opened the door reluctantly. I was in a total shock when I saw the person who stood behind the door. It was Jax. I slammed the door back to close it but he stopped me.
"What do you want?" I asked. "And how did you got in without getting a buzz?"
"I'm a cop, remember?" He said. I smirked.
"You're not welcome here." I said. "Please just turn around and leave."
"Sabrina..I'm sorry." He said. He looked really sincere. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I know I hurt you immensely."
"You had no idea." I said. "You're like a gift that keeps on giving, you know, Jax?'
He nodded. "I can't deny that I've been cruel. I never meant it that way." He said. "I really did love you, a lot whether you believe it or not." He said.
"People don't dump people they loved a lot." I said. "Then fucked her best friend when he's engaged to someone else."
He sat down and he held his head.
"Sabrina... you were so good to me. I knew I shouldn't have done what I did. I wanted to be so good to you. I did. I wanted to give you everything you wanted and be the man. But...I felt I always fell short. No matter how hard I tried it just wasn't good enough." He said.
"So, it was my fault?"
"No.... it's not your fault. I just couldn't match your contribution to our relationship. I wanted it too, but I didn't have the means. I kept learning from you, and taking from you, and I just felt like I wasn't good enough and that you deserved better."
"Ah...everything made sense now. You got a good girl that loved you, but instead of trying to be good as well in return, you just dumped me and hurt me because I deserved better. And I deserved to be hurt and humiliated!"
"I failed to see it from your point of view. I was at dark point in my life. You helped me out so much but at the same time, I felt so much pressure to perform and to be at your level. I wasn't at your level. It wasn't because I didn't love you. I loved you with all my heart. You're every man's dream. You're sweet. You're so smart and kind. You're smoking hot. I just didn't have it in me. I felt terrible for a long time."
"That's why you got engaged almost immediately after you dumped me."
"I was just afraid being alone. She happened to be right there and things were easy. She actually looked up to me and thought I was great."
"I thought you were great too." I said. "What did I ask from you?" He shook his head back and forth.
"I didn't believe you." He said. "I thought you said those because you loved me not because you meant it."
"Well, you were wrong."
"It's over anyway with her." Jax said.
"Sure you broke her heart too." I said. "At least she got her heart broken by Victoria Perkins. A girl almost needs to feel honored getting dump because of Vic. You almost can nod in agreement...well.. yeah...I can see my man dumping me for that." I said sarcastically. "While me....you dumped me for her??! Some ugly low life fat chick!" I said.."And let me ask you, Jax. Victoria is not too good for you?? No..? You're at her level? Seriously?"
"Victoria..." Jax scratched his head. He looked up and said.. "She's every man's weakness. You said it yourself."
I nodded and laughed bitterly. "Yeah...that she is." I said.
"Victoria didn't love me." Jax said. "I never felt like I wanted to give her the world like I felt like I had to with you. There was no pressure."
"I have never pressured you."
"It wasn't you. It was me." Jax said.
"Thanks for that special line. After two years...now your explanation was it wasn't you, it was me."
"Sorry... sorry, Sabrina." He said. "But that's the truth. I am sorry you found out this way. If it made you feel any better, Victoria won't see me anymore."
"I feel your pain." I said.
"I deserved that." He said. "Well... I know you hate me and I don't blame you. I just want to say sorry personally for hurting you, over and over again. It wasn't meant to be like this, but it happened. I am deeply sorry."
"Please leave." I said. He nodded.
"I'm sorry, Sabby. I really am." He said. I tried to close the door but he stopped the damn door again. He must have gotten a lot of training and practice in stopping door from being slammed on his face. so I looked at him and he said.."One more thing....how could you recognize it was me?"
I raised my eye brows and I said.. "I know a dick when I see one." as I looked him in the eyes. His eyes were somber when our eyes met, and as soon as that happened, I slammed the door shut so loud on his face. I was successful this time.
Come to think of it, it was actually rather decent of Jax to do that. Most people probably wouldn't bother and just let me wither in misery further. Yes, it was two years too late. However, I actually appreciated that he came and told me that in person. There was good in him I knew. He was someone I considered to marry and raise a family with. I had so much hopes and dreams with him that none became reality. Even though some of his actions in the past made me forget of why we were friends at one point in our lives and in love for awhile, he actually reminded me today that his parents raised him right. For that, I forgave him.
Now back to reality, and I need to finish packing for the trip to South East Asia.
